Still unsure... Heyy blog, I just find myself too fickle-minded. I keep thinking of things and whenever I think about things, I always find myself thinking pessimistically. I keep wondering why I am always pessimistic about things. I keep telling myself that everything is going to be alright but I just find that it is very difficult to keep up with my own feelings.
I have the tendency in putting myself in every love story I see. I just didn't know if it is really something that bothers me a lot or because I am too eager... hmmmmmm... i wonder...
Smile throughout everything because everything is going to be alright..
@7:16 PM

Craziness! Why is it so hard for me to control my temptation to shop?
Why is it so hard for me to control my emotions to not go wild?
Why is it so hard for me to control my feelings for you?
Smile throughout everything because everything is going to be alright..
@7:01 PM

THE END. After evaluating my mind and my heart, I think that I would really let go of you slowly. I have to move on do i? This blog is merely like my own personal shoutout space. Nobody visits it anyway. I feel like shutting this blog because whatever I have said or anything, I don't get a reply. My sister is better off, at least somebody would comment on her blog though it is private and she receives a confession from the one she loved.
I guess that I have to move on now. And stop my search already because I guess I am tired of searching. 'MR RIGHT' is just bullshit because no doubt, it never happens.
I guess, this is the end.
Smile throughout everything because everything is going to be alright..
@10:31 PM

Letting go of you was never easy.. Mr Sunshine,
I love you.
I miss you.
You don't love me.
You don't miss me.
I am letting go of you.
I am forgetting my feelings for you.
Mr Sunshine,
Why are you so nice to me?
Why do you remember details about me?
Why do you make me feel loved?
Why do you make me so special?
Mr Sunshine,
I know you only treat me as a friend.
I know you are not in love.
Mr Sunshine,
Why is it so hard to forget you?
Why is it so hard to let go of you?
Mr Sunshine,
I want to let go of my feelings for you because I am tired of being the one loving. I guess that it is time for someone else to love me. I guess. Hopefully. Someone might come. I have heard a thousand versions of possibilities of your feelings. I come up with one conclusion, you obviously DON'T like me. I am letting go of you so that I would not be stuck in this dilemma forever. I am always making first moves, I guess that it is time for me to let go of you. It is going to pain but it will never last. Though memories always come when I am alone. You constantly comes to my mind and I just keep thinking about you. I know that life is never fair. Love is also never fair. I don't know if my feelings for you is love but I know that without you, my life is all gloomy and dark. I have to be in the dark to forget you so that I can move on and find the light. We would only be friends, only friends nothing more, right my love?
I know that I will regret my decision at some point but if I do not move on, will I ever get to see the light at the end of the tunnel? I cannot keep living in delusion that you have 'feelings' for me. I know we were never meant to be together. It is not just you my love, I don't want to be in a relationship at all. I wanted to admire at a distance because seeing you makes me content. I wished you never knew my feelings. I wondered why am I so jealous when I see you with other girls, a feeling that begin to resurface. I have to stop this feeling which is why I am letting go.
Thanks my love for all the smiles you gave me.
Smile throughout everything because everything is going to be alright..
@6:03 AM

Lepak session! :D So, me,Iqmal and Serene went to eat at Pastamania on Friday. Derek abandon us! *grrrr!*
We had lots of fun. The food is splendid and well, there are many fn events going on and we are so so so so enjoying ourselves. We walked around and then went to our *famous* lepak corner which is like behind the MRT's toilet. -_-'
Then we proceed on to Civics library and do RJ and stuffs. Iqmal keep stopping me from doing my RJ because he wanted to show me websites and stuffs and Serene comes in and stop me. But, I did manage to finish my RJ and submit it. Hengs ahh! No need to delay.
HAHAHA! Iqmal made for me this weird 'movie' and it was hilarious seriously.
http://www.tackfilm.se/en/?id=1259904466243RA14 - THIS IS THE LINK. Check it out. =)
Smile throughout everything because everything is going to be alright..
@5:36 PM

Birthday wishes! It was my birthday yesterday! wee! Finally I am legally 18 years old.
Hmmm, well. There plenty of unexpected presents and wishes.
Thanks to:
ZEFF, PHYSICS FACI FOR COMING TO THE CLASS TO WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :)

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!
R DURGA DEVI FOR THE WISH AT EXACTLY 0000 ON 1 DEC! :D (you owe me one chocolate)
KUBENDIRAN FOR THE WISH AT 0000 TOO
NUR SYAHIDAH, DIYANAH ISLAM WEERS AND NUR SYAHIRAH FOR THE CHOCOLATES AND SCRAPBOOK(LOVED YOU GUYS, though unfair for the 'THREAT')

E36K
MUHAMMAD IQMAL for the wish at 0016 hours and for the 5 chocolates
SERENE TPC for the wish in Chinese and in English
ALAN FOO and DEREK CAIfor the virtual cake and the wishes in Chinese
LI MAY for the huge birthday wish
ERICA LEK for the wish in yellow and in Chinese
ABIGAIL CHUA for the wish
ALICE XOAI for the wish too
VINCENT for the wish in FB
MOO for the wish in tamil
NURUL for the wish in FB

LOVED! =)
Kak Marissa
Kak ShaSha
Kak Haszia
Kak Di
Miss Cam
Cikgu Norliza
Safwan
Isa
Gayathri
Derrick
Ernest
Rashidah
Rupini
Sam!
Alger
Charlene
Shermaine

AFIQAH SAYANG! =)
Zari
Diana
Tina

W16C
Paulette and Angelia for the cutest cake.
Nadya for the weird birthday wish(with the birds)
Theresa for the wish at 0027 hours
Sandy for the wish at 0710 hours
Fong Yan
Primal
Yong Kang
Xinxin
Zhe Hao
Ravi
Lyn
Syafiqah
Jothi
Hai Ping
Gwen
Smile throughout everything because everything is going to be alright..
@10:45 PM

EIDUL ADHA! SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA!
Aku masih mencari erti pengorbanan yang sebenarnya. Pengorbanan kepada keluarga?
Tetapi, pengorbanan yang tertinggi adalah pengorbanan kepada hawa nafsu yakni melepaskan segala hawa nafsu. Adakah aku sudah bersedia untuk melupakan segala hawa nafsu ku? Kadangkala, aku terasa sangat berdosa sekali? Apakah aku layak untuk ke syurga-NYA? Aku masih banyak kekurangan dalam diri.
Aku menonton cerita, 'Yassin Terakhir' semalam dan dialognya sangat memberangsangkan.
'Kita kena tahu siapa diri kita, baru kita akan kenal yang hidup itu dan barulah kita mengenali diri kita yang sebenar','Yang hak mesti kembali kepada yang hak,sesungguhnya kita di dunia ini tidak ada hak.'
Kata-kata ini membuat aku terfikir sejenak. Apakah ertinya sebenarnya dan aku masih belum mengerti kerana aku tidak kenal siapa diri aku sendiri. Aku sentiasa dalam kekeliruan kerana aku masih belum ingin melepaskan segalanya yang aku tahu banyak menghasutku. Aku ingin insaf. Aku ingin bersedia untuk ke syurga-NYA kerana aku tak sanggup untuk pergi ke neraka-NYA.
Wahai muslimin dan muslimah, apakah jati diri kamu? Dalam sehari, berapa banyakkah kau mengingati ALLAH?
Smile throughout everything because everything is going to be alright..
@1:36 AM