Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Are decent guys extinct? Why am I always at the losing end? I ahve been trying so hard to forget him but his memories kept flashing back... The smiles, the jokes, the laughters, the warmth, the conformting words... It is just so difficult for me to forget.. Why do I end up being the one that always feel miserable? Why can't someone else feel that for me? I am seriously trying to forget you.
No matter what, you are my sunshine..
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7:08 PM
Monday, July 20, 2009
All this while, I have been trying my best to do well in my modules and I have tried terribly not to make my hopes high. I have also tried my best to do as much as I could for the production but nobody appreciated.. Just by saying, 'Thanks..' . It is not enough, show it to me that you appreciate my work.
I have tried my best to maintain my cool in class but if you are going to bullshit through your way by asking questions without daring to even look at the person that you are asking, COWARD, GET A LIFE!
I have been trying to forget you but you refused to let me forget you. you continued to cheer me day up and without doubt, I am beginning to fall more for you.. well, i guess.. i have to continue to try to forget you but I am not sure if I am able to do that..
love chose the path that i believe in..
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9:31 PM
Monday, July 13, 2009
I am not sure I was the only one that has the feelings but I guess, I am the only one with the feelings from what I have observed and gathered. However, I am not sure why I am losing everything that I have tried to keep it in. In fact, I felt like I am on the verge of confession but I am trying all my best to keep everything in my heart and continue with my life and not bothering about the feelings that refuses to go away..
she continues to miss him... :(
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9:18 PM
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Kali pertama aku melihatmu, hatiku diusik perasaan ingin tahu. Kau datang dengan penuh misteri. Perasaan ingin tahuku semakin membuak-buak. Aku ingin tahu siapa dirimu...
Kali kedua aku melihatmu, hatiku semakin menyukai perwatakanmu. Aku terpana saat kau menegurku. Aku berdebar-debar saat aku berbual denganmu. Aku tidak pedulikan perasaan itu kerana ia hanya satu persinggahan.
Daripada situ, aku mula menyemai perasaan yang sukar untuk digambarkan. Aku sedar bahawa dalam diam, aku mula menyayanginya. Aku semakin ingin melihatnya setiap hari... Tanpa dirinya, aku merasakan bahawa cahaya kasih seolah hilang..
Senyumannya membuatku seperti terbuai-buai di awangan. Namun, aku ingin melenyapkan perasaan ini kerana perasaanku kepadanya hanya satu harapan yang pasti tidak akan kesampaian.
Kehilangannya seolah kehilangan sebahagian hidupku namun aku cuba untuk kembali berpijak di bumi yang nyata. Aku tidak ingin kehilangannya namun aku malu untuk mengaku kasihku terhadapnya..
LOVVVEEEE,
AIN
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10:31 PM
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Well, these days, I have been trying to convince myself that I don't love him but then, the love is becoming deeper and deeper.. In fact, the feeling has deepened and sometimes, I just don't know if I truly love him or still just crushing hard on him...
My feelings are often in a roller coaster. He always treat me with sweetness and smiles.. He is always smiling to me.. With his infectious laughter.. I find him quite likeable.. Well, he is just so charming when he smiled...
Anyway, I need some time-out... for my space...
Aku perlukan masa untuk mendekati-NYA, membaca kalam-NYA. Kini, sudah bulan Rejab.. Bulan-NYA.. aku ingin selalu bersama-MU..
LOVVVVVEEEEEEEEE,
AIN =)
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2:51 AM
Friday, July 3, 2009
well, these past few days, I have been thinking of him for quite some time again... yet again.. i don't know why i keep thinking of him back when I actually fall for you already.. I have been losing my strength for everything... i am losing my energy... i am trying to run away from reality as much as possible because I knew that there is no ending today... I notice that he was looking me a lot but I don't wish to know that anymore because I knew that it will never go anywhere.. we are just friends and in fact, he said it himself.. ' YOU ARE NOT MY TYPE!' why am I reminiscing the past? It is just difficult, can!
perhaps, i should run away...
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2:08 AM
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
setiap kali aku bersama dengannya, hatiku masih keliru.. aku tak tau samada aku mengerti perasaan yang bertamu di dalam hatiku dan kadangkala, perasaan aku semakin keliru dan aku memang tidak mengerti apa yang aku ingin.
perasaan aku kembali namun aku tau bahawa aku tiada peluang untuk berkunjung atau menempatkan diri di dalam hatimu... aku benci sekali dengan perasaan aku yang sering kali berubah dan selalu tidak pernah mengerti dengan apa yang aku mahukan...
kadangkala aku cuba untuk menjauhimu agar aku dapat terus bersikap dingin namun kau selalu menghampiri tanpa membiarkan aku rasa terasing.. kau buat ku seperti di awangan namun aku cuba untuk kembali berpijak ke bumi yang nyata...
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4:13 AM
